I've decided that I'm going to post a basic update every week. I don't know how much I can actually say this week, since my last post was Wednesday.
Knitting
I finished the mosaic bands on the Malini shawl. I am officially on the last section which is exciting. I will post a picture once it's actually done.
The New York socks have some issues with dropped stitches. I blame trying to knit while the boyfriend was driving.
My first toe up sock is almost done. I just have to add the afterthought heel. So far I have learned that I do not like m1r s. They are a pain in the ass. Other than that the toe is fairly simple and then it's just a vanilla sock, which is fine.
Mr. Kitty's Adventures
Mr. Kitty has only sort of forgiven me for going to New York. During the day he mostly ignores me, but he does sprawl on my bed in his usual spot. At night though, he is completely cuddle bugging it. He curls up next to my face, or he spreads out along my side. He only does this after I fall asleep though. If I'm awake, he is at the other end of the bed or out the door.
I got Mr. Kitty a cat tree. So far he mostly ignores it. I'd put it near a window so that he can look out but that involves too much furniture rearranging. If I put him on it, he just curls up and naps.
Mental Health
Lately mornings have been hard. Getting out of bed is hard. Staying out of bed is hard. I just want to sleep so I don't have to deal with my brain. If I'm asleep, I'm not numb. I know I have to get up and get doing stuff, but I have no energy to do it.
I don't like being alone. I can't deal with my brain by myself. What do you do when your brain turns against you? I want to feel better but I don't want to do any of the stuff that makes me feel better. I just want stuff to go away.
The numbness comes and goes. Sometimes it hits really hard, like in New York. Sometimes it's just barely there. Sometimes it's completely gone. It always comes back though. Even in the good moments, I know things are going to get worse. My mom likes to flip it, even in the bad moments, you know things will get better. I know she's right but it doesn't feel like it. Depression doesn't lie exactly, it just makes feelings more real than facts.