Today has been difficult. It is really hard to do anything. Even things as simple as eating lunch is difficult. If it takes more than one step, it's too much.
This morning, Mr. Kitty came and slept on my chest. It was really comfortable but I knew I was supposed to get up. I didn't crawl out of bed until 12:30. After I did get up, I felt bad for sleeping so late and still had a bunch of stuff to do, which felt impossible to start.
I managed to eat an unheated pastry and a cupcake and that was all I ate until around 5. Nothing feels possible right now. At least nothing productive feels possible.
Mostly I've been just knitting and watching youtube and netflix. I ended up going out to a big box store just to get out of the house. I ended up spending more than I intended to, and now I feel guilty about that. I know I should have just eaten what was already in the house instead of getting fried chicken, but even microwaving food seems like too much for me to do.
I know the answer to my problem is to just do stuff anyway, but it's so hard.